Dino nuggets?!

OMG, humans! I was at the grocery store last night and I found something AMAZING!

Now, my first thought was FINALLY! Someone is breeding triceratops, and then slaughtering them, grounding them up, battering them and deep frying them like chicken nuggets. I’ve never had a deep-fried tricera-nugget, but I bet it’s delish. Then I noticed some of the nuggets were shaped like me. YOU CAN’T EAT A T-REX!

After some Internetin’, I found this:

They’re CHICKEN nuggets, y’all! And they’re shaped like dinosaurs! Best. Idea. Ever. I give it 20 out of 10 rawrs because it combines two of the world’s most awesome things – chicken nuggets and trexes.

-Trex

A good egg

One of my human friends stayed with me for a few weeks while she worked on a preceptor for vet school. She cooked chicken nuggets in exchange for me letting her use the living room like her bedroom. That’s all the thanks I need.

However, she also gave me a gift when she left. A DINOSAUR EGG! Yes, that’s right, a real, magical dinosaur egg.

It’s supposedly “Amusing! Funny! Novel!” Well, I’ll tell you one thing – I can’t keep my eyes off that darn egg.

The box says you’re supposed to put the egg in water, and the egg will hatch between 12-24 hours.

I put it in water Monday afternoon, and this is what it looked like Tuesday morning.

A few hours later, by the afternoon, I started to see a little bit of a head peaking out.

I think it might be a pterodactyl! It’s head is very weird shaped, like a pterodactyl… I can’t wait to see what it looks like in the morning.

Don’t worry humans, I’ll keep you updated on the progress of my adopted egg.

-Trex

Birthday-saurus Trex

It’s been a while humans, and I apologize. My birthday was April 1 (it’s still not too late for presents!), and I’ve been busy partying on and off since then, and I also went on a business trip.

Now that I’ve finally settled back into my old routine, I guess I can tell you a little bit about my birthday.

A bunch of my buddies came into town for the big day.

That’s me, with my lady Rexann, our bud Chuck, dumb ‘ol Sarah and Herb.

I met Rexann at Bent Willeys a while back. I got her digits, and everything has been great since. She’s the prettiest dino in the whole world!

The humans got me a cake for my birthday. They said it was for a little human girl’s fifth birthday party, but I know they just used that as an excuse to go all out for me.

They even let me light the candles. Again, they pretended like since it was for the five year old, they only needed five candles. There wasn’t enough room on the cake for all the candles ‘ol Trex needs.

Not only did I get cake, but I also got to go to this weird place, called Chuck E. Cheese. So, a human dresses like this ugly rat and walks around scaring human children while they’re just trying to win tickets and eat pizza.

I give the pizza nine out of ten rawrs.

Who knew pepperoni was so delicious?! Well, now you do. You’re welcome.

After chowing down, it was game time. I ran into some more old buddies when I was scoping out the games.

That’s Teri and Tyrone. They’re pretty awesome. Unfortunately, they were working so we didn’t get to catch up too much. I think Teri used to have a thing for me back in high school…

You know, I don’t like to brag, but I used to do some acting and modeling. I gots to get paid, son! I actually saw some of my older work on display.

I made all kinds of friends shooting that movie. Man, the stories I have about that set. Good thing the interwebs wasn’t big back then. We’d be in the tabloids every day!

I decided to try my hand at shooting hoops.

I know that my muscles may give you the impression that I’d be great at basketball, plus the fact that I’m so tall, but arms are very important in basketball… and I’ve got little ones. Little, teeny, tiny arms. And two claws. I’m not going to be palming or dunking any basketballs without poking a hole in them, I’ll tell ya that.

Despite my lack of basketball skills, I did win big.

I ended up giving the tickets to the human children that I was with. What am I going to do with a bouncy ball or plastic rings? One of the humans was very happy that I donated my tickets.

I thought I was going to a birthday party to have fun, and that little drool factory almost ate me! I could see my life flash before my eyes! She may be small, but I couldn’t fight back against a baby. I didn’t want to hurt her. So I just let her gum my head until she got bored, then I ran free to clean myself up.

Once I finally got to celebrate my birthday with adult humans, I had a birthday shot. The humans’ bought me a royal flush.

There are no more pictures from that night, luckily. But now I’m wondering, are there any dinosaur related shots? If so, what’s in them? Maybe I should make my own shot and name it after myself. It’ll need to be green….

I hope to update again soon, but until then, check out my Facebook fan page. I upload pictures there quite often when I don’t have time to write a full post. I’m a busy dino.

-Trex

Happy Bunny Holiday, humans!

So I’m told that tomorrow a magical rabbit is supposed to sneak into the humans’ houses and leave baskets of plastic “grass” filled with treats, like marshmallow bunnies and chocolate eggs filled with peanut butter. I asked if this bunny could leave chicken nuggets in a basket for me, and I was told that the bunny can’t because the meat could go bad and I could get sick. For serious? I eat other dinosaurs raw! Salmonella doesn’t scare me! But then I was told it might make the nuggets less delicious. I’ll let the bunny decide what it wants to bring me.

Also, apparently in order to please this bunny, we have to color Easter eggs, which are just cooked chicken eggs. Why would we ruin perfectly good eggs that could have been turned into chickens, which then would become nuggets? The humans assure me there’s plenty of chickens for nuggets, so we don’t have to worry about cooking too many eggs.

I wanted to make all the eggs green because that’s my favorite color. But the humans said I had to do them all different colors and to try to make designs.

There were originally 12 eggs, but there was a casualty. And by casualty, I mean I broke one to see if there was a baby chicken nugget inside. There was not.

There’s still time to dye eggs if you haven’t yet! If I can do it, then so can you. Also, if you see the Easter Bunny, tell him that I like Peeps.

They’re the closest thing to a chicken nugget I can find in candy form, and they are pretty delicious. Ten out of ten rawrs.

-Trex

Work Trip

Last week I had to travel to Pittsburgh for work for a couple days. Nothing too exciting, but I did get to try a new restaurant. The human co-workers and I went to Shadyside and ate at Thai Place. They did not have chicken nuggets. I searched the menu for the next best thing, and I found something called the tropical birds nest. I thought to myself, “Trex, chicken nuggets come from chickens. And chickens come from eggs. And eggs come from nests. You can’t lose!”

The nest was made out of potatoes, and looked like hash browns. Inside was vegetables, chicken, shrimp and scallops. It. Was. Delicious. ALMOST chicken nugget delicious.

Thai Place gets nine out of ten rawrs.

The humans and I then went to another place in Shadyside that had a lot of bobble heads. I thought I saw a T-Rex, but it was a dumb alligator.

Other than that, I just relaxed at the hotel.

What, you didn’t know T-Rexes took showers? We like to be clean and smell good too. We’re not barbaric, geeeeeez.

Trex has gotta look good for the ladies!

-Trex

Just a few shopping days left

A very important day is coming up on Thursday. That’s right, it’s ‘ol Trex’s birthday. I will be turning 67 million 35 thousand 106 years young, though I really don’t feel a day over 67,035,100 years.

My work trip was cancelled this week, so I’ll get to spend my birthday with the local humans. Not sure what I’ll be doing just yet. Some have asked me what I want for my birthday, but what do you get the T-Rex that has everything? Chicken nuggets would be the perfect gift. You can buy the frozen kind that I can keep in the freezer until I’m ready to eat them. Trust me, a bag of chicken nuggets doesn’t stay in my freezer for very long!

A trip to Hibachi would also be a suitable gift. I’ve recently discovered that I love sushi, and really want someone to throw shrimp in my mouth.

Another important holiday is coming up this week, too. Friday is Act Like A T-Rex Day – obviously, I don’t have to do any acting, but you humans better start practicing now! I can’t wait to see people rawring all over town.

It’s simple, really. Tuck your elbows in, put your claws out (remember I only have two!). Bend your back low, an shake it all out, RAWR! Actually, just watch this for further instructions.

Here’s another good song, but it doesn’t really teach you how to act like a T-Rex.

I hope to see all my T-Rex apprentices out on Friday!

-Trex

Get Bent

Last weekend I went out for the true Morgantown experience – Hibachi, Brew Pub, Bent Willey’s and DP Dough.

Most people are grossed out by sushi, but I LOVE raw meat. I am a carnivore, you know. However, raw meat gets boring after millions of years, so it’s nice to mix it up a little bit with rice and spices. The vegetables weren’t too bad either. Maybe those dumb triceratops are on to something.

Chopsticks are a little difficult to use (since I only have two fingers, and short little arms), but I’ll try everything once.

We ate in the sushi room, but I think I’d like to go back and sit by the Hibachi. The chefs THREW SHRIMP INTO HUMANS’ MOUTHS! They THROW food at YOUR FACE! How awesome is that? I didn’t try to catch any that night, but I guarantee I WILL go back. You’re welcome to take me to dinner. In fact, whoever leaves the best comment to this post wins the chance to take me out and buy me dinner at Hibachi!

Hibachi = 15 out of 10 rawrs. THEY THROW SHRIMP AT YOU!!!!

Next, the humans and I went to Brew Pub. The weather was very nice, so we sat on the deck for a bit.

It wasn’t the best view, but I’ll take what I can get.

I taste tested some of the fine brews, but I’ll stick with Coke Zero.

The Brew Pub was kinda dead when we were there, so I started calling some humans and trying to get them to come out and party.

What, you didn’t think a T-rex would have an iPhone? Come on, it’s 2010. Women can vote now too, did you know that?

I met some fine lookin’ ladies while I was there. What can I say? I’m irresistible.

They dared me to drink Tabasco sauce.

They’re jerks. But that didn’t stop me from going with them to Bent Willey’s.

Some strange dudes offered us cake. The lady humans were worried because they thought that might be code for rape, but it was actually cake.

After cake, I danced for a few hours. There are no pictures of me dancing, because like Lady Gaga, I was kind of busy. And, I may have met a lady… And yes, I got her digits. Trex is smooooooooooth.

Like a true Morgantowner, I ended the night at DP Dough.

My calzone didn’t make it into the picture because I ate it too quickly. I would rate it, but I ate it too fast to really know what it tastes like… But I think it was delicious.

I still need to talk about my business trip, but I’ve got another one coming up this week. Trex is a busy man.

-Trex

The best Friday ever

Last Friday was a great day. Obviously, Friday;s are always awesome. But when you add Lady Gaga into the mix, it’s twice as awesome. We play that crazy human’s music all day. She may be weird, but I can definitely groove to her tunes! It was also the first official taco-in-a-bag Friday.

Now if you don’t know what a taco-in-a-bag is, that’s just a shame. But let ‘ol Trex school you – it’s basically an individual bag of Fritos (or Doritos if you’re feeling wild) that you open up and scoop all your ingredients in (such as meat, lettuce, cheese, etc.). Then, you mix it all up and eat with a fork. I’d prefer to eat a taco-in-bag with a spork, but you gotta work with what you have.

For all the newbies, instructions were provided.

After lunch, it was Segway time. Don’t ask why there’s a Segway. Do you really need a reason? Nope. Just know that it. was. AMAZING.

My buddy Joel let me ride with him. I was afraid I might lose my balance and crush everyone. You know, because I’m huge.

I look pretty awesome on a Segway, don’t I? Agile and elegant.

Everything was going well until another I let another human ride with me. He told everyone that I fell off and he accidentally ran over me… Accident, my tail! He tried to kill me! Don’t worry, I wasn’t hurt. But it did scratch up my tail a bit.

My human thought it would make me feel better if she took me to a new restaurant. We went to Panera, which has soup, salad and sandwiches made of non-nuggeted chicken. If it’s not shaped like a nugget, it just doesn’t taste the same to me.

I went for the Greek salad and black bean soup. It’s almost swim suit season, you know. I gotta look for when I’m at the pool. I can’t pick up the ladies if I’ve got a beer gut!

I give Panera eight out of ten rawrs. Get some nuggets, and I’ll consider making it ten.

That was just the beginning of my crazy weekend. I was working out of town early this week (which I’ll post about soon!), so I’m running a little behind. But I promise I’ll share all my adventures as soon as I get the chance.

One thing you can look forward to is hearing about my first trip to Bent Willeys. I was a bit disappointed because I had a buddy named Bent Willey who was a Brachiosaur. I didn’t see him there. Must be a different Bent Willey.

-Trex

Public Service Announcement

Today I rode a Segway. It was awesome.

(also starring in this video is my human buddy Joel)

Luck of the Irish

St. Patrick’s Day also landed on Pink Shirt Wednesday this year. For those not in the know, Pink Shirt Wednesday was created by my human buddy Chip who wears a pink shirt to work every Wednesday. But since this Wednesday was also St. Patrick’s Day, he had a bit of a dilemma – Does he wear green, or pink?

So what did Chip do? He wore his pink shirt with a green tie… Which just happened to be what I wore to work as well.

You could barely tell us apart. Hint – I’m the taller one not wearing any pants.

After work, the humans made me participate in St. Patrick’s Day traditions. We went to Coach’s where we were given clover beads. I was worried that the necklace was going to be a little small, or look strange since I’m such a big dinosaur, but I think I looked stylin’.

The place was a little dark, but I look good no matter what type of lighting I’m in. I’m not being conceited – it’s just a fact.

The humans insisted that I try a green beer.

Of all the beers I’ve seen, this one is my favorite. Green is a great color, if I say so myself. I look fantastic in green. I give the taste two out of 10 rawrs. The color gets 10 out of 10 rawrs.

After Coach’s, we headed to Gibbie’s where I was told more silly traditions. The humans were eating rueben, which has sauerkraut and cornbeef and 15 other disgusting things that do not taste like chicken nuggets. I give the rueben one out of ten rawrs. The fries get nine out of ten rawrs.

Then I was told another Irish thing is Guinness. It was no cherry slushie, I’ll tell you that.

So, overall it was 0/3 on Irish delicacies. I’m a simple T-Rex. Just give me some chicken nuggets and a Coke Zero, and I’m good to go.

The humans and I then went to Jay’s Getaway.

This place had couches AND board games! It definitely gets ten out of ten rawrs, and two little arms up!

We played Jenga. I used my ninjy skills to dominate the humans in Jenga.

Overall, I had a pretty good St. Patrick’s Day. I never did find any dumb triceratops to pinch, but I did get recognized from my blog (rawr human Zach!) and I’m pretty sure the waitress at Gibbie’s was hitting on me.

-Trex